Breaking Boards and Breaking Through Barriers

 

In my Tae Kwon Do studio, when a person tests for their next belt level, the final stage of any test is to break wooden boards. Each level has its own specific breaks, certain kicks or punches with which to shatter the pine. It is inspiring to watch and fun to do. A person gets a lot of satisfaction from solidly connecting with the board, and sending some splinters flying. There is a profound sense of accomplishment when you use your own, unaided strength to do what seems like it is beyond doing.

 

The board breaking comes at the end of a fairly arduous test, and by that time, we have already spent more than a full hour exerting our energy with kicks, punches, one-steps, pumsae, and sparring. It is not easy to muster the necessary strength and precision for breaking the boards. Sometimes, a student will deliver the blow, and the board won’t break. They kick again. Nothing. They try again, and still, the board remains whole. This is not unusual, nor does it disqualify you. You simply have to keep on trying until you successfully meet the challenge that the board represents, until you literally break through the barrier to the next level.

 

Does breaking the boards hurt? After all it is solid wood, and our fingers and toes don’t seem so fierce. Breaking the board does not really hurt, but hitting it and not breaking it stings pretty bad. It is a painful reminder that you didn’t hit it right, and a let down of the spirit, that you didn’t get that immediate positive response that lifts your confidence.

 

But you have to keep on trying. No matter how many times you don’t break it, you refocus, recommit, and kick again. If you miss a few times in a row, the Master will remind you to deliver “more power”, or “You’ve got to HIT it.” People who are watching or also testing, might call out “Come on, you can do it.” But nobody jumps in and breaks it for you. We all recognize that part of the test is meeting standards that were previously beyond your abilities, and that the greatest satisfaction and self confidence comes from doing something you couldn’t do before.

 

This is an essential part of any practice, TKD, other athletics, art and music, and certainly prayer and spiritual disciplines. Good teachers, and fellow community members will encourage you, but they won’t do it for you, or take away the difficulty of the challenge. They realize that this does not really help you, and in the end takes away from you the real satisfaction that comes from accomplishment.

 

A Shul Story:

 

Recently in synagogue, just before the beginning of the Torah reading, I was standing in the middle of the sanctuary, and since I did not have my Chumash (Hebrew scripture) in my hand, I announced the Torah portion by name and location in the Pentateuch instead of by the page number. This has often been my way, as it requires the members of the congregation to work a little bit to find the passage, and to become familiar with the traditional order of the portions and the flow of the literature. Yes, there are page numbers, but they can be a crutch, and I expect my congregants to become more fluent with the Torah as they grow in their learning.

 

So I gave the parsha citation, and immediately two of the parishioners called out the page number. Now you need to know that I have talked with these guys many times about calling out in services, or announcing pages, but they did it anyway. So this time, I called them out, and said; “Why would you do that? The people here are capable of finding it themselves. Why would you take away the struggle and the challenge? Don’t do it for them, or they will not learn to do it for themselves.”

 

I know they were trying to be helpful, and I suspect they will dismiss my reproach. But I also know that however helpful they were trying to be, they actually stood in the way of others making progress. By trying to make people comfortable, and by removing some of the negative experience that comes from feeling lost in shul, they perpetuate those feelings, and end up discouraging the members of the community from discovering the deep reserve of strength and knowledge that can be theirs.

 

We seem more willing to let kids “try, try again” but when it comes to adults, some people think its best to spoon feed them rather than encouraging them to struggle and strive, and fail on their way to greater strength. Playing to someone’s weaknesses and shortcomings, only serves to emphasize those weaknesses, whereas playing to someone’s strength, reminding them to use more power, emphasizes the power we all have to achieve mastery.

 

What good does it do the student to break the board for them? None. Calling out pages does not help people become better in their shul practice. Jumping in and making sure they feel comfortable, only reminds them that they feel UNcomfortable, interrupts their experience, and stunts their growth.

 

Sure it stings when you miss. So use more power, kick again, don’t miss, and break the board. Of course it feels bad to lack knowledge and expertise in our spiritual practice. So learn a bit more, find the right page, and break through the barriers.

 

If you are going to shout something out in shul, don’t call out the page numbers. Instead try this: “Come on, you can do it, keep on coming.”

Political Discourse in America: A How-To Guide for Beginners

1)     Invoke American greatness (choose any/all that apply)

a.      Your humble beginnings

b.      Your parents’ humble beginnings

c.      Greatest country in the world

d.      If you play by the rules you can become anything you want to be

e.      Your children

2)     Express shock and concern about the decline of America as exemplified by: (choose any/all that apply)

a.      The way things used to be

b.      The American family

c.      Decline of parenting

d.      Decline of church or prayer in school

e.      Lost freedoms

f.        No more ethic of hard work

3)     State your deep conviction, and remind everyone that you will Never stop fighting for what is RIGHT. (Declare that you are NOT a Washington insider and that SOMETHING must be done).

4)     Advocate for legislation that is: (choose any/all that apply)

a.      Reasonable

b.      Common Sense

c.      Biblical

d.      Scientific

e.      Fact-based

f.        What the American people want

g.      For “The Children”

5)     Quote from one of the following to show that they would agree with your position: (choose any two – you don’t want to give the impression that these people might have held multiple views)

a.      The Founding Fathers

b.      Abraham Lincoln

c.      Your Grandfather/Grandmother

d.      Martin Luther King, Jr.

e.      Ronald Reagan

f.        Bill Clinton

6)     Express disgust at your opposition for being: (choose any/all that apply)

a.      Unwilling to negotiate

b.      Racist

c.      Homophobic

d.      Anti-women

e.      Anti-Christian

f.        Pro-Muslim/Muslim

7)     Demonize: (Choose any/all that apply)

a.      Hollywood

b.      Video games

c.      The Democrats

d.      The Republicans

e.      The White House

f.        The Congress

g.      The 1%

h.      The Washington elite

i.        The _____________ Union

j.         The Powerful _____________ Lobby

8)     Remind everyone that your position is _____________ (see #4)

9)     Close by invoking: (choose any that apply AND d)

a.      Future generations of Americans

b.      The Middle Class

c.      Working Americans

d.      The Children

10) Make sure you say: “God Bless America”

Why Jews Should Defend “Stand Your Ground” Laws.

Why do we even have these laws?

Very little generates as much heated debate as the recent cases in Florida and elsewhere that purport to call “Stand Your Ground” laws into focus. Without getting too deeply into the detailed legal issues, it seem that most discussion of these laws perpetuates a fundamental misunderstanding of why they are passed into law in the first place. Once we understand the motivation for passing these laws, we will, I believe see that Jewish law and legal philosophy supports such statutes.

The discussion often centers on specific cases that evoke strong emotional responses and involve a range of social issues – concealed carry laws, racial profiling – that are not what the law is really about. Many of those cases do not even make use of the statutes in question as part of the legal defense or prosecution, but because they involve the use of deadly force they are subsumed under that umbrella.

To really understand laws that protect people from criminal and civil prosecution, and do not require a person to retreat before using deadly force, we must ask: “What situations were these laws intended to address?” Contrary to what in reported, stand your ground laws do not allow a person to kill another person with impunity. They were not passed to give permission for any actions not previously permitted under those states’ laws. Instead these laws were passed to address a serious flaw in the prosecution of people who use force in defense of life and limb.

Unfortunately, it is not unheard of for someone to need to use legitimate and deadly force in self-defense. Even more unfortunately, it is not uncommon for someone who does so to be subject to prosecution, imprisonment, financial and social ruin, only to be found not guilty later, or to sometimes be found civilly liable even though the situation may have clearly called for such a level of use of force. Only if one believes that there are absolutely no circumstances that justify deadly force, can such cases be acceptable. Certainly Jewish law does not hold this position. “Ha’bah l’horgechah. Kam l’horgo – If a person is coming to kill you, you should proactively kill them first.” In Jewish law, there are situations where force, up to and including a mortal strike, is justified and even mandated.

So which is worse?

In evaluating such statutes, we must ask “what is the potential legal harm that might come from their presence or absence in our system?” What are the worst-case scenarios? On the one hand, we have the terrible situation of a guilty person going free. He or she gets away with murder. Whether the recent cases fit this definition is not relevant here. We must acknowledge that if a person takes another’s life WITHOUT justification, and goes free, we have a gross miscarriage of justice.

On the other hand, we have the case where a person who HAS justification for the use of deadly force, a person whose life is actually threatened, is punished, destroyed financially, and imprisoned even though they are not guilty.

So which is worse, for a guilty man to go free, or for an innocent man to be imprisoned for life? This is not an easy question, but Jewish law is, I believe, clear and unequivocal. Many details of Talmudic judicial process for criminal and capital law encourage a finding of acquittal if there is any doubt at all. While it is a terrible miscarriage of justice to allow a murderer to walk free, it is only the second greatest miscarriage of justice. Even worse than a vindicated murderer is the incarceration of an innocent person, wrongfully prosecuted and indicted.

There is certainly room to think that the defendants in recent cases are guilty. And they may be. As observers, we likely do not know all the facts of these cases, and certainly will never truly know the state of mind of the people involved. Due process and a jury of peers will decide their conviction or acquittal. But it is clear to me that Jewish legal philosophy, values, and law require us to defend statutes that prevent innocent people who have to defend their lives with deadly force from criminal and civil penalties.

Powerful Punches, Powerful prayers

In my Tae Kwon Do practice, we are taught to put tremendous energy and force into every move. Each block, kick, or punch must not only be executed correctly, but it must also harness energy from our core (hips, back, stomach) so that it delivers significant force. Since people of all ages and sizes practice Tae Kwon Do, the question of how to develop that force is an important one. If you recall your high school physics, the equation for force is F=MA, force equals the product of mass and acceleration. In layman’s terms, two components affect the force of any strike, the size of the object and how fast it its going. Consider your fist. It is not that big, really. If you strike someone very slowly, they will barely feel it. The small size of the fist multiplied by the slow movement will not deliver a significant amount of force. If my fist was much bigger, say the size of a boulder, the rate of acceleration would not matter. A slow moving boulder still delivers a devastating amount of force. For a small pebble to equal that force it has to move at a much higher rate of acceleration.

My fist has a constant mass. In order for it to deliver a powerful blow, it must be moving very fast. I only have so much muscle and so much power in my arms, so to increase the power of my punch I have to begin the movement from my center, move through the distance to the target at an elevated speed, and at the very last moment, rotate my fist in order to fully maximize the acceleration. In addition to these mechanics, when throwing a TKD punch, we make a sharp and loud noise (kee-hup) just as we are about to strike the target. This shout serves several purposes – distracting the opponent, intimidating him/her, focusing our attention – including a brief, but important additional measure of energy in the movement. All of these efforts combine to make my small fist a potentially upsetting force.

As you become a more advanced student, the expectation is that you will become an increasingly powerful fighter, capable of overwhelming power in each and every move.

In my Jewish practice, I teach my students to put tremendous energy and meaning into each and every word of the tefillot (worship) and action of the mitzvot (commandments). Each individual word is small, and has a constant capacity. The force and effectiveness of a person’s prayer is necessarily the product of the energy they put into these words and actions. Like a well-thrown punch, a well prayed word gets nearly all of its energy and power, not from some external force, but from the core of the person who is praying. If you deliver the words with very little intention/kavanah (acceleration), they will be anemic and unable to affect the target at all. The words must be accompanied by intense focus, vocal clarity, precision mechanics, and a spiritual kee-hup.

Like Tae Kwon Do, as we become more advanced in our prayer practice, we must keep the expectation high, and strive to be increasingly powerful warriors of the spirit, capable of overwhelming depth and meaning in each and every word we say. This capacity does not come from the siddur (prayer book), or from any other external place. It must come from within, and be delivered to God with every measure of strength we have.

9/11 - Vigilance and Liberty

“Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.”

There is some scholarly debate about who uttered these now famous words. Some say it was Thomas Jefferson, others say Ida Wells, others still say John Philpot Curran. It was used in a speech by Wendell Phillips and in the farewell address of Andrew Jackson. Regardless of the orator, as we approach the anniversary of 9/11, this profound sentiment is my memorial meditation. There is so much emotion wrapped up with the commemoration of the attacks that day - anger, fear, sadness, resolve, uncertainty and more. I still remember vividly how I felt as a rabbi and a New Yorker when my wife and I watched the tragedy unfold on the news with our newborn daughter in hand.

Yom Kippur that year was difficult for all of us in NYC, and though time has helped to soften the wounds, time must not soften our resolve as Jews, as Americans, as patriots, and as members of the human family as Yom Kippur approaches this year.

Often, when people talk about 9/11 they infuse their conversation with inflammatory and emotional rhetoric. They seek to promote a particular political, social, religious or military agenda, and in doing so they dilute what I believe are the lasting and important resolutions we must make to honor the immensity of the loss.

The above quote reminds me that the purpose of our country and all of its immeasurable sacrifices is nothing if not freedom and liberty. To the extent that our commemorations rededicate us to this immutable foundation, I believe they will properly give the events of 9/11 their due tribute. No matter what our politics or religion, if we neglect to defend and honor freedom and liberty, if we are complacent about promoting liberty, if we give up our freedom too easily to secure a limited measure of security and a feeling of safety, then I believe we are dishonoring those who lost their lives.

Equally true, I believe is the undeniable responsibility that 9/11 places on our shoulders. If we remain indifferent to the real threats that challenge our freedoms, if we do not defend our country from all enemies – foreign and domestic – if we fail to secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and future generations, then we are unworthy of the sacrifice and the devotion that our fellow citizens give to ensure our life and liberty.

This is not a political diatribe, and I am not promoting any particular political or legislative agenda. Please don’t read it to support your own personal politics. Our commemoration  must be for all Americans, indeed for all people of every religion, creed, and country. For liberty knows no borders, and it is the right of all people to be free.

Vigilance must be our method, and freedom must be our purpose. To sacrifice freedom for the sake of vigilance, or to let down our guard for the ease of liberty; both of these failures would be a strong indictment of our republic and our ability to learn from past lessons.

May the memories of those lost be a blessing. May God grant us with strength, and bless us with peace.

A Second Litany for The High Holy Days - For The Mitzvah Which We Have Fulfilled

It can get a little heavy. The High Holy Days are with us, and though they are filled with joyful celebration, and family reunions, the themes of this time of year are intense. In Hebrew we call them “Yamim Nora’im” – Days of Awe. I love this intensity. It makes me feel alive. But must admit that it can weigh on my shoulders a bit, and I sometimes find myself looking for a little relief from all of the chest pounding and talk of kings and judgement.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe we need to experience this kind of introspective evaluation. All of us, young and old alike, must from time to time delve into our spiritual life with a critical eye, and even say “For the sin which we have sinned . . .” We need to ask the hard questions of ourselves, and even to seek God’s forgiveness and the forgiveness of our friends and family. Perhaps we even crave this kind of intense experience, and know that it is good for us, even though it is difficult.

Still, a spoonful of sugar can help even the most bitter medicine go down a bit more easily. This year in addition to focusing on the errors we have made, and the shortcomings that trip us up and keep us from becoming our best selves, I suggest we create a litany of positive accomplishments also. While we beat our chest, and say “For the sin which we have sinned . . .” lets also open our arms and list the many good and noble efforts we have made. Lets add to our prayer experience a second litany, “For the mitzvah which we have fulfilled . . .” Lets not forget that just as we seek to minimize the failures in the year to come, we must also strengthen and increase the successes. Removing from our lives the things we have done wrong is not enough. We must also develop our better selves and increase the tikkun – the repair which we are capable of delivering to our community and to the entire world.

These truly are the Days of Awe. Let them also be the Days of Celebration as we strive to become the person God wants us to be. If you are coming to SI for the holidays, I look forward to seeing you and reconnecting. If you will be elsewhere, let me wish you,

Shanah Tovah.

Have You Ever . . . You Could . . .

Have you ever . . .

·        Felt lost while praying?

·        Checked the time on your cell phone during services?

·        Gossiped or shared small talk at synagogue?

·        Brought the newspaper or a magazine with you?

·        Allowed others to engage you in conversation while standing in prayer?

·        Left shul feeling like you had not done anything?

·        Come to shul in a bad mood, or feeling stubborn?

Our experiences in tefillah shape us and create spiritual patterns that make us in their image. And we, and everything we bring with us, shapes our prayer experiences.

You could . . .

·        Let go of the lost feeling, and accept whatever level you are at as true and good.

·        Leave your cell phone at home.

·        Commit to davening and save the conversation for kiddush.

·        Open the siddur, and do your best to follow along for the entire service.

·        Be polite, but firm and let people know you have come to pray.

·        Feel good about the tefillot you experienced, and not focus on what you didn’t do.

·        Shake off the bad mood, and open your heart to God.

Be careful what you bring with you, and be careful what you do when you come to pray in synagogue or elsewhere, for these are the things that will define your tefillot. And your tefillot will define you.