Four Siddurim

Four Siddurim

At many synagogues and in many traditional communities, a celebration
accompanies a child's receiving her first siddur. The introduction of
young children to the practice and experience of tefillah - worship and
meditation - is seen as a joyful occasion. By actively celebrating it,
we convey the strong emotional message to the child that tefillah is
good and good for you. Kids do not always love synagogue. Our services
are long and they seem to many kids to really be for the grownups, and
of course, the siddur we use in shul has something to do with that. Lets
face it, our siddur is a grown-up's siddur and we all know that kids are
not just little grown-ups. They are people in their own right and
require appropriate tools to engage in the journey of self-discovery
that is at the heart of tefillah.

On Passover we speak of the four children, the four cups, and the four
questions. I believe we should also talk about the four siddurim. In
truth, we do not simply have two distinct phases of learning - kid and
grown-up. From age 3 to age 18, each young person goes through a number
of different and unique developments that should be reflected in the
siddur they use. Not every siddur is the same.

When we are very young, I believe we should have a kid's siddur.
Something colorful, with bold pictures and inspiring images that allow
the visual parts of the child's brain to engage with the deep ideas of
the siddur even before they have the words for it. The kid's siddur
should feel like a kid's book, and reminds the child that they too, not
just their parents, have a voice inside them that can sing to God, and
that the synagogue is their home also. Just as we do not give
sophisticated academic prose to kindergarteners, so too in shul we must
meet them where they are and help them to make the connection to
tefillah that will expand as they get older.

As they grow and begin to ask questions and develop more nuanced and
varied ideas, a young person needs a student's siddur. Unlike the kid's
siddur, when a child begins to read and prepare for their school years,
they need another step towards adult tefillah. In second grade, a child
should be exposed to more and more of the tefillot. A kid's siddur can
jump around a lot and only emphasize the "big" prayers, but a student
must approach the siddur more systematically and thrives when challenged
to work towards mastery of more and more material.

When a child becomes bar or bat mitzvah they should receive a shul
siddur-this should be identical to the one used in the shul where they
belong. The shul siddur reinforces the message of the bar/bat mitzvah
that the child is becoming a young adult and that they are now a growing
part of their own Jewish community. It reinforces their capabilities,
and their sense that the entire tradition belongs to them. As they
become adults, this siddur becomes an increasingly familiar guide book
for their emerging Jewish conscience, and a bridge to the Jewish life
beyond the rite of passage; a reminder that Judaism is not only for
children.

When its time to leave home and young adults venture out into the world
beyond their home and the Jewish world beyond their synagogue, they
should receive a travel siddur. It is not enough to be Jewish in your
parents' home and in your local synagogue. Judaism calls us to be Jewish
in every place and at every time. As students grow and become leaders
and teachers, they need to have their root sources with them always. A
travel siddur makes it easy and natural to make tefillah a part of your
own emerging independence. Over time, as the corners become dog-eared
and the travel siddur sees more of the world, the words and experiences
found within become a close friend, guiding and reminding us of our
opportunities for holiness and our responsibilities to God, our
community, and the world. 

There are so many different ways to express our Jewishness and our
Judaism, still I sometimes feel that the measure of a Jew is the content
of their bookshelf. Since a large part of our mission is to raise
children who will grow in their tefillah and become pious and
spiritually engaged adults, helping our young people to build a
bookshelf filled with siddurim is one way to fulfill this sacred task.

Oh, and don't forget, you are going to need a High Holy Day Machzor as
well.

Praying With Rabbis

This week, I prayed with rabbis. I don't usually do that. But this week, I was on a four day retreat with about twenty five other rabbis in the farm country of Maryland. A group called Rabbis Without Borders gathered for its annual alumni retreat, and it was a simple pleasure to daven in their company. Because it was  RWB (Rabbis Without Borders) kind of retreat, our group included a wide range of denominational and professional difference; so we didn't have a set plan for minyan. We can do a lot together, but we still have some boundaries even if we are trying to be without borders.

Still, each morning a small group of rabbis got together to pray the morning meditations and read the parsha on Monday. Rabbis. I got pray in a group of leaders. A mamlechet Kohanim. A gathering of kindred spirits and love of Torah. One of us was saying kaddish for a parent. And there was a lot of easy singing and niggunim. It is not that rabbis are somehow better at praying, or better in general. In my experience, rabbis have great facility with the text and language of the tefiilot. They have given a lot of thought to the order, history, and even mystical prayer experiences. But they are like everyone else when it comes to reflective thinking, and we are certainly subject to all the more distracted and biased ways of thinking that are common among all men and women who seek to make and keep tefillah meaningful.

Still, it felt like the buzz in the room was a little bit higher, a little more in tune. Like a old style radio, dialed in a bit closer to the proper frequency, but still . . . not quite there. In that way, my tefillot with my friends in Rabbis Without Borders was wonderfully unique, and at the same time, just like those of many others, rabbis, Jews, non-Jews and you. A tefillah of striving to embody the best of my spiritual abilities, and the best of my traditions ideals. It helps to pray with rabbis sometimes.